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Supporting Children Who Self-Harm: A Guide for Parents and Carers


Self-harm is a distressing and concerning issue that affects many children and adolescents. As parents and caregivers, it can be incredibly challenging to discover that a child you care for is engaging in self-harming behaviours. However, it's crucial to remember that self-harm is often a coping mechanism for underlying emotional or psychological distress. Getting professional help for your child or teenager is one of the steps that you could take, and is what we at The Wellbeing Therapy Hut can help with. But in this blog post, we will explore the topic of self-harm and discuss how parents and carers can provide the necessary support for their children who are struggling with this issue.


Understanding Self-Harm


Before we delve into how to support children who self-harm, it's essential to understand what self-harm is and why children may resort to it. Self-harm is the deliberate act of causing physical harm to oneself as a means of dealing with emotional pain, stress, or overwhelming emotions. It is important to recognise that self-harm is not a suicidal act but rather a way to release built-up tension and emotional distress.


Common self-harming behaviours include cutting, burning, scratching, hitting, or any other action that causes physical pain. Children who self-harm may hide their wounds, making it difficult for parents and caregivers to detect this behaviour. It is crucial to remain vigilant and look for signs that your child may be engaging in self-harming activities.





Signs of Self-Harm


Parents and caregivers can look out for several signs that may indicate a child is self-harming:

  1. Unexplained cuts, burns, or bruises, often in discreet areas like the upper arms, thighs, or abdomen.

  2. Frequent wearing of long sleeves or pants, even in warm weather, to conceal injuries.

  3. Bloodstains on clothing or bedding.

  4. Isolation and withdrawal from friends and family.

  5. Worsening emotional distress, depression, or anxiety.

  6. Difficulty in handling stress or expressing emotions in a healthy manner.

  7. Expressing feelings of guilt or shame related to their actions.


Support Strategies for Parents and Carers

  1. Open and Non-judgmental Communication: The most crucial step in supporting a child who self-harms is to create a safe and open environment for communication. Let your child know that you are there to listen without judgment. Encourage them to share their feelings and thoughts with you.

  2. Seek Professional Help: It is vital to involve mental health professionals such as therapists, counsellors, or psychiatrists in your child's treatment. They can help address the underlying issues that lead to self-harm and provide appropriate therapies and coping strategies.

  3. Educate Yourself: As a parent or caregiver, it's essential to educate yourself about self-harm and the issues that may contribute to it. This will help you better understand what your child is going through and how to support them effectively.

  4. Encourage Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Work with your child to identify and encourage alternative coping mechanisms. These can include creative outlets, physical activities, mindfulness, and relaxation techniques. Help your child find healthy ways to express their emotions and manage stress.

  5. Maintain a Safe Environment: Ensure that your home is free from items that could be used for self-harming, such as razors, scissors, or sharp objects. Monitor your child's safety without invading their privacy.

  6. Supportive Relationships: Encourage your child to maintain positive relationships with friends and family members. These connections can provide emotional support and help them feel less isolated.

  7. Be Patient and Consistent: Recovery from self-harm is a gradual process. Be patient and consistent in your support, and understand that setbacks may occur. Celebrate small victories and provide ongoing encouragement.

  8. Self-Care for Parents and Caregivers: Caring for a child who self-harms can be emotionally draining. Make sure to take care of your own emotional well-being. Seek support for yourself, whether through friends, support groups, or therapy.


Supporting a child who self-harms is a challenging and emotionally taxing journey. However, with open communication, professional guidance, and a compassionate, non-judgmental approach, you can help your child work through their emotional struggles and find healthier ways to cope. Remember that self-harm is a sign of underlying distress, and with the right support, your child can heal and move towards a brighter, healthier future.


Please get in contact with us if you feel you or your child could benefit from therapy.

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