Surviving the School Summer Holidays: A Parent’s Guide Through the Lens of CBT and Attachment

Ah, the school summer holidays – that long-awaited stretch of time where routines dissolve, bedtimes get later, and the fridge is raided hourly. For children, it’s six weeks of freedom. For parents? Let’s be honest, it can feel like six weeks of survival.

If you're a parent bracing yourself for another summer of juggling work, childcare, entertainment and your own sanity, you're not alone. But what if we could view this period not just as something to "get through", but as a unique opportunity to strengthen relationships and develop resilience? Let’s look at how Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Attachment Theory can support us along the way.

Understanding the Pressure: The CBT Perspective

CBT helps us understand the link between our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. A common thought during the holidays might be: "I’m failing because I can't keep my kids entertained 24/7." That thought leads to guilt, frustration, and possibly snapping at the kids — which reinforces the negative cycle.

Instead, CBT encourages us to challenge unhelpful thinking:

• Is it really your job to be a constant entertainer?

• What would you say to a friend in your position?

• Can you reframe it as: "I’m doing my best with what I have today"?

  
  

Shifting your internal narrative can drastically change how you experience the holidays. You might still have chaotic days, but they don’t have to erode your confidence as a parent.

Attachment in Action: The Power of Presence

Attachment Theory, pioneered by John Bowlby, reminds us that children don’t need perfection, they need connection. It's the consistent, responsive, emotionally attuned interactions that matter most. In other words: it’s not about crafting the perfect schedule of Pinterest-worthy activities. It’s about being emotionally available.

When a child senses you’re truly "with" them — even for a few minutes a day — it fills their emotional cup. Think less "What can I do for them?" and more "How can I be with them?"

Some low-pressure ways to foster secure attachment:

• 10 minutes of one-to-one time each day where your phone is down and they lead the activity

• A regular check-in question, like "What was your favourite part of today?"

• Validating emotions: "It’s okay to feel bored. I feel that way sometimes too."

The Myth of the Perfect Summer

Social media can turn the summer holidays into a competitive sport. Everyone seems to be on sun-drenched beach trips or baking unicorn cupcakes. But remember: social media is a highlights reel, not a full picture.

Incorporating CBT can help here too. Notice the thought: "I’m not doing enough." Challenge it: "Is this a helpful comparison? Are my kids safe, loved, and fed today? That’s enough."

Practical Tips for Sanity and Connection

• Create "just enough" structure: A loose routine (e.g. mornings out, quiet afternoons) can ease chaos without becoming rigid.

• Name your needs too: Parents have emotional and mental needs. Say it aloud: “I need 15 minutes of quiet after lunch.” Children learn empathy when they see their caregivers as people too.

• Tag-team when possible: Whether it’s co-parenting, relatives, or a childcare swap with a friend, give yourself a break when you can.

• Use boredom creatively: It’s okay, even healthy, for kids to feel bored. It teaches problem-solving, imagination, and self-regulation.

A Season for Growth

The summer holidays don’t have to be flawless to be meaningful. Through the ups and downs, they offer a powerful chance to nurture emotional resilience, in both your children and yourself.

By grounding your expectations in realism, self-compassion, and secure connection, you can emerge from the summer with not only memories but also stronger relationships and a little more trust in yourself as a parent.

Even on the messiest, loudest, most exhausting days — you’re doing better than you think.